Disgusting Holiday Drinks the Husband and I Dreamed Up While Waiting for Lunch at Friendly's*
The Gobble Gobble
Mix two parts cranberry juice with one part pumpkin-infused vodka. Add turkey-broth ice cubes and garnish with mashed potato flakes. Enjoy!
Santa's Surprise
Mix two parts egg nog with one part candy cane liqueur. Add reindeer broth (beef broth can be substituted if you don't have fresh reindeer broth) ice cubes to chill. Garnish with a handful of green peas and a candy cane for festive holiday colour. Enjoy!
Anyone else have any ideas?
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
*After Friendly's, the husband went off to Sears to do some manly shopping and I walked down the mall with the kids towards the playspace. On the way, I stopped in Godiva to (a) buy a hostess gift to give to my cousin on Thanksgiving and (b) redeem a coupon I had for two free truffles.
The kids were being maniacs as usual and the very nice sales clerk tried to talk to them and calm them down a bit. When Jak-El told her we had just had lunch at Friendly's, I looked at her and said "They really should serve alcohol there. It would be much better." As I said this, I had Dan-El pinned to the ground between my ankles so I could sign the credit card receipt without worrying about him destroying a display of $500 worth of candy. "Oh, you poor thing," said the sales person, who then gave me an extra free truffle.
To sum up: free candy is good!
posted by Lois Lane @ 7:33 AM
11 comments
11 Comments:
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Tomato juice is pretty disgusting.
The Drunken Elf:
First, take a bottle of cheap red wine. Pour into a nice stainless steel pot and add the following:
- cloves
- orange peel
- cinnamon stick
- a splash of dark rum
Allow contents of pot to simmer (covered) for an hour or so...or until the house smells delicious.
Now, take however many elves you happen to have handy (I know they're hard to come by at this time of year but Santa usually has some uncooperative ones for sale on Craigslist)...dispatch them and scoop out the brains. Decant liquid into empty skulls and garnish with holly leaves and maybe some cranberries.
Ta-da, deliciousness!
IANO: I love tomato juice!
Cake: That sounds wonderful. Should you boil the elf skulls first?
I am concerned. The Gobble Gobble actually sounds kinda good. Maybe I'm just hungry for Tgiving stuff?
Stuff on the Stuff
Fill a handsome martini glass with stuffing. Garnish with olives. Garnish with more olives. That's not enough. More. Eat all of it.
No: See? I don't have the spirit of this. I can only sit back with my Stuff on the Stuff and admire the genius of others.
Sparkle: The only thing you're missing is the step where you soak the stuffing in whisky and *then* add the olives. And more olives. And then more whisky. And rainbow sprinkles.
GOOD GRIEF, I'M A GOAT!
Toast and Jellybeans! Peanuts Thanksgiving!
Clearly: (1) I haven't seen that in way too long; and (2) Senile ain't as far away as I'd hoped. At least I'll get to blurt out embarrassing stuff at the top of my lungs and not care...
THANKS FOR THE MEMORY! Toast and jellybeans.
Wait...yer a goat!? Are you the goat my co-workers are supposed to be feeding!?
I'm so confused.
Sometimes simpler is best:
The Candy Cane (for IANO):
Take one big tumbler...fill 3/4 of the way with tomato juice and top up with pure spearmint extract. Stir gently to make a pretty red/green swirl effect. Garnish with peppermint leaves and a slice of tomato.
The Goat (for Sparkle):
Take one piece of toast...crumble and mix thoroughly with assorted jelly beans. Mix vodka and cranberry juice (for that festive look) and float toast crumb mixture on top. If you feel really brave, set fire to it briefly to give the toast crumbs a nicely singed look.
The Truffle (for Lois):
Take chocolate. Put on plate. Pour glass of infrastructure.
No, wait...can that one be for me??
Cake: YES! I think The Truffle should be the official drink of the Girl's Navy.
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