Good News!
posted by Lois Lane @ 8:35 AM
15 comments
This Just In
The world is a mess and I just need to...rule it.
Monday, August 14, 2006
About Me
- Name: Lois Lane
- Location: Boston-ish
There are things in my head that need to get out. You'll find some of them here.
15 Comments:
Jesus was known to butter fight from time to time.
Especially with Santa Claus.
Jesus and Santa Claus had butter fights?! Who won?
Santa. The elves in his posse had much better pitching arms than Jesus' disciples. All that experience from snowball fights, y'know.
For some reason I love that you thought that through.
Oh! They're throwing the butter. I was picturing Jesus and Santa rolling in the butter.
Though I was still gonna give Santa the edge, myself, since he could just pin Jesus with his bowl-full-of-jelly-belly.
And then give him a butter face-wash.
Nobody thought to make the obvious a-salt-ed comment?
I am ashamed of every single one of you.
Yes, I'm looking at you in particular.
-- Lamont Cranston
I just couldn't mustard up the energy to pepper my posts with puns...and I didn't relish the idea of forcing everyone else to try and ketchup to me, y'know? I mean, I'd be way a-bread of them, punning away, since I have nothing butter to do this afternoon.
I don't mean to wine, I'm just saying...see my dilemma?
I mayo may not forgive you; I preserve the right to do either. What gives me this entitlement? Vegemite, for as everyone knows, vegemite make right.
All I'm saying is that it's a Miracle Aquaman doesn't Whip some asses. (To self: That would indeed have tartar a lesson.)
I'd do it myself, but I am too cayenne retiring.
Regarding your lazy afternoon with nothing to do but make bread puns: As Neil Young said so many years ago, crust never sleeps...
Ah, but don't take this as a challenge. I'd hate to think you were croissant with me...
I wonder if the Pope would approve of all these puns, or if he would consider it an example of oregano sin?
-- Lamont Cranston
Uh-oh, this is in danger of getting corny. Won't anybun help me out? I'm not sure rye can take Lamont on alone, here!
If I had a pumper-nickle for everytime I got myself caught in a pun-war, I'd have an awful lot of dough, I'll tell ya that for muffin. I'm nut going to just roll over, though! I'm not going to turnover my punning title to you that easily.
However, you do raisin a good point with the Pope; he IS quite obsessed with sin-ammon...
I'm rather ficelle with bread puns myself, so if you really want to have it oat with me, I'm sure we'll have a boule. I just hope they don't cause you any pain. Not that you'll get any sympathy from me: I'm more than able to roll with it, and I can be a right batard.
Were I you, I wouldn't give up too easily: Doing so would give me reason to scofa at you. A-bun-don all hope, if you know what I mean.
I realize some might not have the fougasse idea what we're talking about. Let me know if you need me to filone any of the blanks. I'd hate to think that their obscurity would add insult to injera.
Cake, I'm willing to baguette if you are. But rest assured that if you surrender this punfest will be naan, but not focaccia.
-- Lamont Cranston
Oh grate, it finally happened-- I met my match. Donut think I'm having an easy time, here...I'm really having to work to rise to the occasion.
But I knead to keep trying, at yeast for one last post...I want to milk every last pun from this cruller situation I've gotten myself into! I realize I'm straying into pastry puns-- but it's your fault for egging me on!
Anyways, nicely done, Mr. Cranston-- I raise a toast (ha!) to your punnery skills!
Ah, I would hate to think I ab-scone-ded with your crown. Nor would I want you to think you had bitten off more than you could choux. If it's any consolation, you've been a worthy foil: This hasn't exactly been a strudel in the park for me.
So for now let's just say that there is no éclair victor. I think both conducted ourselves with brioche, if not pan-ache.
Nicely done, phyllo punster.
-- Lamont Cranston, aka the Crepe Crusader
On the way home, I realized I missed out on saying something about *loafing* around. Damn!
::grinning::
::standing loafation::
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