Reasons Why Lois Might Have An Overly Sensitive Reaction to Another Blog
1. I'm an only child.
2. It's warm, and the AC isn't on.
3. It's Thursday.
4. Bush is still in the White House.
5. I have PMS.
6. And ADD.
7. And possibly VH-1.
8. I haven't had lunch yet.
9. The sun was in my eyes.
10. We're out of pancake mix.
11. Gilmore Girls got cancelled.
12. I haven't had enough sleep.
13. My mom doesn't love me.
14. Number 13 is a lie.
15. Someone keeps stealing my chair.
16. No one woke me up before they go-goed.
17. You can't always get what you want.
18. Wonton soup would be nice right now.
19. Are you really still reading this list? Wow.
20. I'm a chick. It's what we do.
posted by Lois Lane @ 9:58 AM
72 comments
72 Comments:
23. Any talk of looking pregnant is kryptonite to all of us dames. Proven. By. Scientists-ists-ists!
21. Somebody switched your coffee with Maxwell House.
22. The cat stole your Anti-Sensitive Reaction vest and made holes in it whilst sharpening its claws/kneading cozily.
22a. Good thing the cat can type.
23. Were they going-to-a-go-go when they didn't wake you up before they go-goed? Because that's just wrong.
24. Have some wonton soup! Just don't eat any vegetables. It's vegetable boycott day (see The Ballad of The Cake today). Soup is safe.
25. When 5, 6, and 15 coincide, crank up The Clash and dance.
26. Mercury is in Retrograde.
26a. What the heckfire does that mean anyway?
Myrna "I'm At #5, #6, #11, #12, and Always #20" Loy
Maybe we should bury the P word?
::delete-delete::
Why doesn't this goldang delete button work?
::hugs::
"There, there."
.
.
.
At least I wasn't made fun of.
And to think the IANO blog today was just gonna be about fried chicken and mashed potatoes.
And gravy.
And maybe cookies. I like cookies.
You just need chocolate.
Chocolate fixes ALL of those things.
(Well, except Bush...but WE have a mannequin. Wanna trade?)
Eat me!
"10. We're out of pancake mix."
It's supposed to be made with hands, anyways.
hoo.
I prescribe a hot bubble bath, some red wine, and a tub of Ben & Jerry's.
Dames always gotta blame PMS!
You can't prove it.
"19. Are you really still reading this list?"
I can't read, way to make fun of my pain!
17. You can't always get what you want.
I lied!!
Quit making fun of the ADD crew!
I swear...oh look! A butterfly! *runs off*
poor,poor pitiful you.
Adfr hafr haggtt!
Nothing. Not us. No siree, Bob.
It's all Cake I tells ya...all Cake. And maybe Sparkle and Myrna.
And probably the Hoag.
I've been framed!
Whoops, not until tomorrow for me....
Anyways, I couldn't have typed all those comments...I can barely type what with this giant splint on my hand from when I cut off my thumb in the great vegetable wars.
Or something.
I'm innocent, I tells ya!
You humans are so embarrassing.
Hi...nice blog!
::falls flat on his face::
*throws sand in Lois's eyes*
Truck truck to Lynn.
Better be careful or ya might fall innnnnn......!
::sings off-key::
What a fun blog! I think I'll come around more often!
Where's Clinky?
Mmmm, badger...
Put some butter on me and call me Tony!
Hey, how are ya?
I was in the Bod Squad , ya know...I'm famous!
"26. Mercury is in Retrograde.
26a. What the heckfire does that mean anyway?"
It means I'm in retrograde.
Duh.
Hey, nice to meetcha.
Did someone say meat?!
Husker don't. For the love of god....DON'T!!
Ohhh...I'm the last one, camp out at a store and get me...there is only 6,000,0000 of me...you'll never find me. I'm a boy wizard...almost grown-up now.
I can fly! I can fly!
(I'm probably gay)
Can I interest you in a switchblade ?
I die in the book.
pick up milk, shaving cream...
NO! I do!
I think therefore I am.
This is FUN!
Where is that morphine drip?
Butter me up your preggie beyotches!
Nobody came to the funeral but you have time to do THIS!?
Do I smell twins in there?
I want tacos!!!
Twins? Did someone say Twins? We have Twins!
::struggles...pushes coffin lid up...struggles:::
I think maybe IANO needs some ritalin.
::sits on coffin lid::
OH NO YOU DON'T!
I don't have a damn thing to do all....day....loong....
Did someone say my name?
Me neither!
::sings::
"We all live in a pregnant submarine, a pregnant submarine..."
Listen you guys! Quit buggin' our mom or we'll COMB YA!
Have you heard our great hit, "Sympathy for the Pregnant Gal"?
We can help you.
::sings::
"have you seen your pregnant mother, baby, standing in the shadows?"
JINX!
Why do you keep ignoring me? I was fun!
Tell them about me!
I'm not actually a loser, I just play one on this blog.
I was talkin' to the pregnant gal BEHIND you.
I'm tasty.
I'm not pregnant!!!
Ya sure look it.
::shakes head::
I really need to remember to lock the door when I go out.
I have it on good authority that it was all IANO's fault.
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