Conespiracy Theory

So for a few months now I've been wanting to try the Stephen Colbert inspired flavor of Ben & Jerry's, "Americone Dream," but none of the supermarkets in my area have had it in stock.

Last week, I was browsing the Ben & Jerry's Web site, doing background research for an article for the magazine I write for, and I notice a nifty little "flavor locator" feature. Select a flavor, type in your zip code and they'll tell you which stores in your area have carried the flavor recently.

I type in my zip and see that the closest store in my area isn't even in my area, it's several towns away. Apparently, none of the major grocery chains locally stock "Americone Dream."

You know, of course, what this means. Either

(a) The corporate suits at these markets are raving liberals who don't agree with the conservative rhetoric Colbert espouses on-air, or

(b) The corporate suits at these markets are died in the wool conservatives who don't like Colbert mocking them.

Either way, Shaws, Stop & Shop, Roche Brothers and Whole Foods….you are ON NOTICE!