Top 10 People I’d Prefer in the White House Instead of George W. Bush

Let me be clear. I don’t want out W. on principle just because he’s a Republican. I want him out because he’s a retard.

1. Martin Sheen (Hey, he did a good job on “The West Wing.”)

2. Jimmy Smits (See above. Maybe he could run after Sheen leaves office.)

3. Alan Alda (Again, “The West Wing.” See, I’m non-partisan.)

4. Morgan Freeman (He led the country through an comet hitting the earth in “Deep Impact.” He could handle this mess in a week.)

5. Colin Powell (Again, this ain’t an anti-Republican thing. It’s an anti-retard thing.)

6. My senile cat. (Meow.)

7. My other senile cat. (Meow.)

8. A stick of butter. (Yes, technically not a person. But who doesn’t like butter?)

9. Timmy from “South Park.” (TIMMY!)

10. You. (Why not? You’re nowhere near as big a retard as W., are you?)