An Observation
You know your family is kinda white-trashy when you're drinking white zinfandel with ice cubes in it out of a paper cup while your toddler child runs around naked with his cousins, most of whom were born out of wedlock.
And how was your weekend?
posted by Lois Lane @ 6:59 AM
8 comments
8 Comments:
I once drank scotch out of a styrofoam cup...and I'll tell ya, styrofoam does absolutely nothing to improve the taste of that stuff.
My weekend was work, dinner with friends, and a trip to Clerks II(it was that or Pirates II; a coin toss picked, since I live in such a mature household).
Mahna, mahna.
I love ordering wine at a restaurant and then in a straight face asking for a straw. Or ketchup.
There used to be a restarant called Ed Debevic's: A friend once ordered a glass of wine, which came with a bendy straw.
He looked at that straw the way a duchess would look at a bedbug.
Not being a parent myself, I am obliged to ask: If your children are born out of wedlock, are you required to love them as much, or is there a loophole and will just being somewhat fond of them suffice?
-- Lamont Cranston
Next time I'm at a nice restaurant (say, ordering deep fried dog leg or some such delicacy), I'm going to order wine and ask them to bring me the whole bottle with a straw in it...
Cake--Find the right scotch (preferably not in a styrofoam cup) and it's a lovely thing. Single malts are best--blends are a crime against humanity.
NoOprah--Do you drink the ketchup with a straw?
Lamont--Don't forget the time the Duchess went to the Billy Goat Tavern and nearly got the vapors when presented with a "cheesebourger, cheesbourger!"
And don't ask me about out o' wedlock babies. I'm the black sheep of the family. I had the poor social graces to actually marry the father of my kids *before* he knocked me up.
Two of my closest friends are scotch fans and I'm their only failed convert so far.
They tell me they haven't given up yet; they're just taking a break and regrouping for their next attempt at conversion.
Meantime, please pass the red wine? (No, I don't need ice cubes; thanks, though!)
Adventures in alcohol:
1, I have several friends who have tried unsuccessfully to convert me into being a port wine drinker. I don't care how good the port is--it all tastes like cough syrup to me.
2. I once had an argument with a person running a cafe on an Amtrak train because they didn't believe that red wine should *not* be refrigerated. And yes, they asked me if I wanted ice cubes with my chilled red wine.
Heathens.
1. I prefer to drink my wine on starboard, too.
2. My parents refrigerate their red wine and drink their white at room temperature. I keep correcting them but they never get it right. I've decided to view it as charming.
Whoa! I sounded like a wine snob there. Oh my, all downhill from here...
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