Sing Along With Lois
Our drive home from preschool last night took 2.5 hours. Normally, it takes 5 minutes. I love snow. And I think the state of Massachusetts did a fabulous job of clearing the roads yesterday. (Please note the sarcasm in the last two statements.)
Jak-El: Are we there yet?
Lois: No.
(about 20 minutes pass…)
Jak-El: Mom, will you just drive?
Lois: See that car in front of us? He can't move either. And there's another car in front of him. And another car in front of him. And another car in front of him. And in front of that guy? About 100 other cars. And we all want to go home. But we can't, because there's a lot of snow and traffic. So no, I can't just drive.
Dan-El: WAAAAAHHHHHH!
Lois: Kid, chill out. We'll get home as soon as we can.
Dan-El: WAAAAAHHHHHHH! (takes off shoes and socks)
Jak-El: Mom! Dan-El has his shoes and socks off!
Lois: I can't do anything about it right now. The car is heated. He's fine.
Jak-El: But mommmmmm!
Dan-El: Mom-meeee! WAAAHHHHHH! WAHHHHHHH!
(Lois turns up car radio, starts singing along. Loudly. Keep in mind that Lois is not a good singer. It's like the worst "American Idol" audition ever, with windshield wiper accompaniment.)
Lois: "THEY'RE TRYIN' TO MAKE ME GO TO REHAB. I SAY NO, NO, NO…."
(Dan-El quiets down.)
20 minutes later…..
Jak-El: Mom, are we there yet?
Lois: What do you think?
Jak-El: Yes.
Lois: Good. Then get out of the car. No, wait. (Lois thinks better of her suggestion, knowing the child will take her up on it and locks car doors.)
Dan-El: WAAAAAHHHH!
Lois: "SHE'S SO COLD, COLD, COLD, COLD LIKE AN ICE CREAM CONE…"
And so on, until we got to the house, where I had to shovel out the driveway before I could pull in. The husband's normally 45 minute ride home took over 7 hours, including one minor accident and the loss of his cell phone. Thank goodness for infrastructure.
And how was your commute last night?
posted by Lois Lane @ 3:57 AM
21 comments
21 Comments:
My drive home was horrendous too yesterday.
What would usually take me 10 minutes, took me TWELVE !!
Ok, sorry. In all seriousness, that sounds awful especially with the 'are we nearly there yet' thing going on.
You need to keep some brandy in the glove compartment - for the children.
Oh my lord Jayne! Thank goodness you're safe!LOL. :-)
The husband says we need to keep a bottle of Benadryl (an allergy drug that knocks kids--and adults--out cold) in the car for such occasions. Or, as my cousin calls it, "Dr. Benny."
"Dr. Benny"! I love it!
Oh, poor Lois, husband, and kids. BAD. Super-BAD. They knew the storm was coming. I see the plows hungrily cruising around when it is NOT snowing. What a shameful snow-clearing performance.
You must have heard about the 60 buses full of little kids that were on the highway from 1:00 p.m. to about 8:00 p.m. last night in Providence? Can you imagine those poor bus drivers all sitting there loudly singing, "THEY'RE TRYIN' TO MAKE ME GO TO REHAB, I SAY NO, NO, NO..." What did they DO about going to the bathroom? Eating? Yikes. I imagine it turning into a little Lord of the Flies/Alive! situation on each bus. Are the kids with the glasses missing?
You need one of those Alps - St. Bernards with the barrel of brandy around the neck.
And, I saw a weathertard in Boston on the weathertard channel on a bridge over 93 / 1 north just south of the Tobin Bridge. Nice parking lot {carpark} you got there. Hope today goes a little better for you.
Redbeard: You have sled dogs, don't you? You're sittin' pretty up there with sled dogs, right? (Or, "sleigh-broken bigfoots"?)
I'm often mistaken for Yukon Cornelius, but no, I have no sled dogs. But would be really freakin' cool if I did! Dogs! That pull a sled! It's genius!
Oh, and I honestly happen to have this fortune cookie taped to my monitor:
Life is like a dogsled team. If you aren't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
2 hours for a normal 40 minute commute. Oh well I had fun testing out my AWD car that I bought in May and FINALLY got to use in the snow. I actually had a pretty good time watching all the tards sliding around.
Why, that would be a pile of 'tards (c Asian Cowgirl, 2007)!
Okay, I was going to gloat about my evening of shopping, cake, and wine...but I'm too horrified at the idea of 2 1/2 hours stuck in a car with two young, bored children.
I'm glad you survived!
(And glad everyone ended up home, safe and sound, too.)
Didn't I say 45 seconds for commute stories?
Huh?
(or did you write this before I gave the orders?)
Okay, why does IANO seem to think he's in charge?
I'll give you all infrastructure (except Bacon Ace, who can have a slice of bacon) if you elect me as your leader, instead.
I vote for Cake!
Whee!
Can I have some bacon too? It's lunch time.
Baconstructure? You have my vote!
Oh, sigh. I'd be the FIRST on the Cake bandwagon--I really would--except for this Mantooth/Swayze thing. So, I'm gonna have to throw my vote to Dal LaMagna (TWEEZERMAN!). I really want to vote for Cake; if only she were running on a pro-Mantooth platform. Either way, 'though, she's definitely the frontrunner.
::crosses fingers behind her back::
Really, I was wrong, Sparkle...he looks nothing like Swayze. I've seen the error of my ways.
Vote for me now?
Oh, whew. I'm so glad I can vote for you now, and I'm just so relieved that I can...
HEY! Why are you all giggling like that?
(Cake: Are you sure he doesn't look like John Cameron Swayze--pre-death? 'cause that would be okay.)
Cake wants be the lead dog? All right! Coup-d'etat! Je suis une revolutionnaire!
All right, as my first act as world leader...FREE DONUTS FOR ALL!
::mouth full of free donut::
Mantooth? Mantooth who?
Hooray for Tim Horton's! I'll have mine with a double-double, plzkthx.
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