A Decision I've Made This Afternoon Based on Things I've Read Online and in Copy I've Had to Edit:

I'm going to start a band called the Techno Savvy Hispanics.

Our first album will be called "Magooing Around Beijing."

Our second album will be called "Amorous Disabled Turtle on the Move."

Halfway through our third world tour, I will quit the band and enter rehab.

Excuse me while I go start drinking to keep on schedule.