Curse You, Squirrels!

Last year, the little bastards at least had the decency to wait until after Halloween to make our pumpkin into a buffet.

Yesterday, I walked out on to my porch to discover that this year, they apparently couldn't wait.





Just for the heck of it, before posting this I went out and checked again. Apparently, they had brunch.



We need to come up with a plan and fast. Here are some of our ideas so far:

1. Build an electric fence. The husband thinks it would be funny to see the little critters hanging off of it.

2. Build a force field. Unfortunately, as Jak-El pointed out: "You need a scientist to do that. And we're not scientists."

3. Post signs alerting squirrels to the much tastier--and possibly chocolate!--pumpkins on neighbor's porch.

4. Kill one squirrel with a chainsaw, as a warning to other squirrels. (I don't think Jak-El has really thought this idea through.)

5. Teleport squirrels to (a) an alternate dimension, (b) New Hampshire, or (c) the future, where they'd have to fight robot squirrels.

6. Gesture wildly at squirrels, while yelling empty threats at them in a bad Italian accent. "You a' squirrels, you a' stop a' eatin' my a' pumpkins, or I'ma' gonna make a' you into a squirrel risotto."

Anyone have any better ideas?