Hey Baby!
A VGFOTB (Very Good Friend of the Blog) had her first baby on Sunday, a bouncing baby girl weighing in at 7 lbs, something (my mom was sketchy with the details).
Welcome to the wonderful world of motherhood. Since the next time the VGFOTB will be reading this will likely be around 3 am when the baby won't go back to sleep and she's sick of Conan O'Brien reruns (they lose something on the third viewing), let me be the 8,463 person to offer you some parenting advice.
Two things pop to mind:
1. When the baby sleeps, you sleep. Especially during the first six weeks. F**k housecleaning, cooking and showering. God invented grandmothers, takeout and deodorant for a reason. And no matter how many times you shower, you're still going to smell like baby barf anyway, so why bother?
2. That thing they probably told you in the hospital about cabbage leaves? Yes, it's weird, it smells funny and you probably won't even consider it unless you're desperate, but it does help.
Happy Tuesday!
posted by Lois Lane @ 7:31 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
This begs a question or two:
1. Isn't VGFTOB a nutritious tomato-based sodium-infused supplement?
2. What do cabbages do when they are pregnant?
-- Lamont Cranston
What about cabbage leaves? Freak.
Okay boys, if you must know, Google "breastfeeding"
and "cabbage".
Then go and discuss with your imaginary friends Mr. Woggles and Hoagy.
Thank you for the blog mention. I feel quite famous. I am off a day because I live in the dark, the only time she opens her eyes! The cabbage leaves? The guy down the street gave me some nice lettuce he grew for its 'nutrients'. Little does he know I could care less about that, but I used the leaves wisely!
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