The Apple Picking Hub-Bub
Dear God,
How's things? Just wanted to say hi, and thanks for all my blessings and my husband and kids and keeping us safe and doughnuts and stuff.
Anyway...I know you're a really, really busy guy, what with being God and all, but I just thought I'd share with you what we did yesterday. The husband and I went along on the kids' school's apple picking field trip. Take a look at these pictures:
Oh, we also picked out a few pumpkins to decorate for Halloween...
Yeah, that's right. Halloween. Can you believe it? Today is Sept. 27. Autumn started last Sunday. Which means....IT SHOULD NOT BE 90 DEGREES OUT TODAY! This weather is too frickin' hot for this time of year.
If you get a chance, could you please adjust the temperatures to something a bit more suitable, since it is almost October? I have a new jacket I'd like to wear. Thanks!
Oh, and if you need a character witness for that silly lawsuit that Nebraska Senator filed against you, just ask. I'm a big fan of your work. Well, just about everything. I still don't get the point of avocados.
Love,
Lois
Labels: apple picking, avocados, God, Halloween, hub-bub, weather
posted by Lois Lane @ 7:14 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Dear Lois,
You're welcome. Sassing god by saying "frickin'" is a mortal sin. Please prepare for the plague of locusts to follow. Wait. What's that morty? We're all out of locusts. Okay. Doughnuts. Please prepare for the plague of doughnuts to follow. HEY! Why are you smiling like that?
Wrathfully,
The Big Scary Old Testament, Wait, Save Me A Chocolate Doughnut, Lord
GREAT photos, excellent point re: the heat (I am sweltering as all of my computer technology melts down about me), and I love how you used "hub-bub" as one of your key terms. I'm going to keep saying "hub-bub" now. "Hub-bub." "Hub-bub."
If you get a response from God, can you put in a good word for me? I'm afraid my heathenly ways might have gotten me black listed...but I'm really not a bad sort.
p.s.
Adorable pictures. I'm with you on the heat, though...we set records in my city yesterday and we're going to be close again today. And I can't dress for this! My mind says "fall office clothes" and then my body curses it all the way here. Grr!
Apple gathering -- indeed, fruit picking in general -- is one of my favorite pasttimes.
A friend used to design cornfield mazes, and a group of us would show our support for him by driving out, moving our way through the maze, and ending the day on whatever local farm was nearby.
Then there was the time one of my best friends from high schools and I went strawberry picking.
We were up at the crack of friggin' dawn, drove for an hour, broke our backs picking strawberries (they grow very close to the ground) and paid $2.25 a pint for the privilege.
Halfway through this exercise I muttered over at him "I can't believe Mexicans do this for $1.80 an hour. They all deserve huge raises."
It was worth it, though, because we wound up with these so-red-they're-black strawberries which another friend turned into fragolo, a sweet liqueur.
Climbing up in a cherry tree and eating fruit right off the branches was fun, too, until I started getting a reaction to the paraquat which caused me to twitch and plummet 15 feet to the ground below. Thankfully my fall was broken by my head.
-- Lamont "Gravity Effing Hurts!" Cranston
I want your weather!!
P.S. I love blackberry picking at this time of year.
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