The Jaunty Hat Hub-Bub

1. Today's post is in the form of a list. Why?

2. Because all the cool kids are doing lists these days.

3. Yes. I would jump off a bridge if all the other kids did.

4. Because I'm a very strong swimmer.

5. Of course, that wouldn't help if there was no water under the bridge.

6. Today, I got to go to the mall all by myself with no children in tow.

7. It was fun.

8. There were a lot of guys at the mall dressed like Turtle from "Entourage."

9. This is not a good look.

10. The husband watched the kids so I could go shopping because he's a nice guy.

11. And I was making him pancakes for dinner. With fruit salad.

12. And bacon.

13. Bacon Ace has never given us any bacon cooking tips, has he?

14. Since we have a Bacon Ace, I wonder if there's a whole Bacon-themed Royal Flush Gang, that goes around committing wacky breakfast meat-related crimes.

15. That would be cool.

16. Especially if they fought the Pancake League of America in a giant frying pan.

17. At the mall, I bought two new pairs of jeans.

18. I may return one of them.

19. Can anyone explain the trend of "whiskering" on jeans?

20. I don't get it. Is it really attractive?

21. I also bought a hat.

22. It is a jaunty hat.

23. The husband laughed when I told him it was jaunty.

24. But he agreed I was right.

25. Probably because he still wanted the pancakes.

26. I hope it gets cold soon, so I can wear my jaunty hat.

27. Good night.

The Apple Picking Hub-Bub

Dear God,

How's things? Just wanted to say hi, and thanks for all my blessings and my husband and kids and keeping us safe and doughnuts and stuff.

Anyway...I know you're a really, really busy guy, what with being God and all, but I just thought I'd share with you what we did yesterday. The husband and I went along on the kids' school's apple picking field trip. Take a look at these pictures:


Wait, I think I've found one...


Yep! Got one!


Mmmm....apple!

Oh, we also picked out a few pumpkins to decorate for Halloween...



Yeah, that's right. Halloween. Can you believe it? Today is Sept. 27. Autumn started last Sunday. Which means....IT SHOULD NOT BE 90 DEGREES OUT TODAY! This weather is too frickin' hot for this time of year.

If you get a chance, could you please adjust the temperatures to something a bit more suitable, since it is almost October? I have a new jacket I'd like to wear. Thanks!

Oh, and if you need a character witness for that silly lawsuit that Nebraska Senator filed against you, just ask. I'm a big fan of your work. Well, just about everything. I still don't get the point of avocados.

Love,
Lois