Go West

I'm off on vacation tomorrow. Where are we going? Here's a clue:



Keep the place tidy while I'm gone. There's Diet Coke and wine in the fridge, and a box of Crispy Hexagons in the cabinet if you get peckish.

Be well, and have a happy fourth of July!

A Musical Interlude!

And now a little something for those of you who work in an office, or who have ever had to deal with other members of the human race...

The Hanslick Rebellion, featuring my friend Jed Davis. Oh, and someone who posts here may also make an appearance. Or not. You decide.

And headphones on kids. There's some language grandma might find offensive. Or, she might like it. Towards the end, my grandma swore like a sailor. Good old Grandma. Anyway, enjoy!

I Fought the Law, and the Law Had Frosting

It’s so sad when you think you know a guy. You fall in love with him, you marry him, and then….he turns into a pastry Nazi.

>>at my friend’s one year old daughter’s birthday party Saturday afternoon<<

Husband: Are you letting Jak-El have cake? Because we might be getting a cake later for dessert at my parents’ house. He shouldn’t have too much cake, you know.

Lois: Don’t worry about it. He’s just eating the frosting. And he probably won’t even care if there’s more cake later. He’ll be caked out.

Husband: What’s that? Are you taking cake home for later?

Lois: Yes. I’m not having cake now, and XXX offered to give me a piece to take home, so I’m taking it. Do you have a problem with that?

Husband: I guess not. We just don’t need too much cake.

Lois: Who died and made you the cake police? And if you’re so worried about everyone eating too much cake, why are you finishing Jak-El’s cake?

Husband: Someone has to.

Not Sure If...

...Bacon Ace regularly checks in here, but couldn't resist sharing this pic from Occasional Superheroine....ladies and gentlemen, Bacon-Man!



Guess Where *I'm* Going Tomorrow....

!. It's a city not known for smoked meat.

2. Nearly everything that happens there reminds me of an R. Crumb cartoon.

3. In the underground caverns, Crispy Hexagons are the currency of choice.

4. For some reason the locals never want to join me in a rousing rendition of the Dropkick Murphys' "Tessie."

Any ideas?

I Just Came Back From the Doctor....

...and it's official.

I'm "normal."

Who knew?

Conespiracy Theory

So for a few months now I've been wanting to try the Stephen Colbert inspired flavor of Ben & Jerry's, "Americone Dream," but none of the supermarkets in my area have had it in stock.

Last week, I was browsing the Ben & Jerry's Web site, doing background research for an article for the magazine I write for, and I notice a nifty little "flavor locator" feature. Select a flavor, type in your zip code and they'll tell you which stores in your area have carried the flavor recently.

I type in my zip and see that the closest store in my area isn't even in my area, it's several towns away. Apparently, none of the major grocery chains locally stock "Americone Dream."

You know, of course, what this means. Either

(a) The corporate suits at these markets are raving liberals who don't agree with the conservative rhetoric Colbert espouses on-air, or

(b) The corporate suits at these markets are died in the wool conservatives who don't like Colbert mocking them.

Either way, Shaws, Stop & Shop, Roche Brothers and Whole Foods….you are ON NOTICE!

A Conversation with MY Puppy

Me: Hello puppy!

Puppy: Hello.

Me:…..um, wait a minute. I don’t have a puppy.

Puppy: No, you don’t. You’re talking to yourself again.

Me: Oh. Right. Sorry.

Puppy: Retard.

Buddy Night!

I know, Cake did this first. But who doesn't aspire to emulate Cake?

Your Score: Katharine Hepburn

You scored 11% grit, 23% wit, 52% flair, and 23% class!

You are the fabulously quirky and independent woman of character. You go your own way, follow your own drummer, take your own lead. You stand head and shoulders next to your partner, but you are perfectly willing and able to stand alone. Others might be more classically beautiful or conventionally woman-like, but you possess a more fundamental common sense and off-kilter charm, making interesting men fall at your feet. You can pick them up or leave them there as you see fit. You share the screen with the likes of Spencer Tracy and Cary Grant, thinking men who like strong women.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the
Classic Leading Man Test.

Link: The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Unscheduled Vacation

Hello. After a week of computer wonkiness, I am now again able to log into Blogger. Hooray!

Back with a real post soon.