Wednesday Smackdown!!!!!!
People/Things That Deserved to be Smacked:
1. Comcast: For making me schedule to have a technician to come out to my home, then canceling the damn appointment but not telling me they cancelled the damn appointment.
SMACK!
2. Public Relations People: For pitching me a story, then, when I express interest essentially tell me that, no, sorry, but my magazine isn't important enough for their stinky client to talk to.
SMACK!
3. My Sinuses: 'Cause they hurt, and that's pissing me off.
SMACK!
ouch. Maybe that wasn't such a good idea, given that my sinuses are in my head and all…
4. The Strip on My Parking Pass at the Preschool: Stupid thing just isn't opening the gate.
SMACK!
I'm just getting warmed up. Anything I can smack for y'all?
posted by Lois Lane @ 8:35 AM
12 comments
12 Comments:
Smack Mother Nature - You're getting rain, I'm getting snow. We should be in Florida for Spring Training. Or England, I hear there's a heatwave going on there (high 40s, low 50s).
Sure thing, Redbeard!
::reaches up in air, jumps, swats at sky::
SMACK!
Does Kelloggs still make Sugar Smacks?
::walks into neighborhood funny book store, smacks proprietor::
Oh, sorry IANO! I misunderstood your question. Just looked at the Kellogg's Web site and while they don't list Sugar Smacks, they do list Honey Smacks.
How about people who walk in a row, very slowly, taking up the whole sidewalk so you end up stomping at a snail's pace along behind them, glaring and wishing they'd trip and fall into the path of one of the many snowplows out and about today because of the massive new dump of snow we got?
Also, people who leave run-on sentences in comment boxes.
(No, wait...::ducks smack::)
Hiya Cake!
::smacks first person in row, rest fall down like dominoes::
And I don't think you need a smack. A snack, though, might be in order.
::offers assortment of cookies and a nice glass of milk::
I'm absolutely with Cake on her slow walkers deserving smacks. And you can add to that people who get off escalators and freeze.
HELLO? I CAN'T JUST PHASE AND GO RIGHT THROUGH YOU. ALTHOUGH IF YOU DON'T MOVE FROM THE TOP OF THE MOVING STAIRS I'M GOING TO TRY, VERY HARD!
-- Lamont "Oh, And People Who RAISE Their Voices To Speak Publicly On Cell Phones. I Hate Those Guys" Cranston
1) Triple-Stooge smack Comcast, just on general principles.
2) Please smack the document I'm working on riiiiight now. Smack it as if it were Bette Davis and you were Joan Crawford. Or vice versa.
Hi Lamont!
::runs down escalator to smack person standing at bottom, runs into them knocks them over::
Lois: "Hi! Could you stand up please? Thanks!"
Escalator Idiot: Huh?
SMACK!
::sees person driving and talking on cell phone, waves them down to stop::
Lois: "Hi! Did you know you just cut off another driver because you're not paying attention to the road, because you're chatting on your mobile? I know I couldn't hear what you were saying, but I think this is close enough to qualify."
Driver: Huh?
SMACK!
Howdy Miss Sparkle!
::drives over to local Comcast office::
Lois: Hi! That's a nice shirt you're wearing. Is it new?
Comcast Stooge: Huh?
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
::opens doc::
Lois: Buckle up, doccy! This is for Sparkle and it's gonna be a bumpy night!
Computer: Huh?
SMACK!
How about whatever jerk in the office decided to put the A/C on today (for real)? Smack?
Cake: Seriously? That guy, we should put out in the snow and smack with a shovel.
Post a Comment
<< Home