Space Oddity

I woke up from my drunken stupor this morning to read this this. Would be very interesting, were it true.


The Day You've All Been Waiting For...Drink Yourself Into a Stupor Wednesday!!!

Dance Party Tuesday!

Why Am I Here Again?

I've got me The Selective Alzheimers. I'm sure of it.

I've got a fairly good memory when it comes to keeping track of all the work projects I have to manage – and at this time of year, that's quite a few.

But every week, there's one particular project that I always seem to forget. It's one that's not a favorite, for reasons I won't go into here. And every week, when a piece of e-mail pops up in my in-box telling me the project is ready for me to work on, I'm completely surprised, because I had blocked it out of my brain entirely.

So I'm working on the project, which will soon be done. I know next week with the Monday holiday thrown into the mix, I'll be twice as surprised when this little task rears its head again.

Until then, I think I'll just sit here and look at the infrastructure.

Reasons I Am Happy Today

1. Pumpkin donuts are back at Dunkin Donuts!!!!!

2. David Tennant is on BBC America's "Graham Norton Show" on Saturday night!!!!!!

3. I live in a country where I can use exclamation points with reckless abandon!!!!!!!!!!!

How about you? Why are you happy today?

Time to Learn!

More Family Fun

And the Six Flags photo parade continues....


One more Lex Luthor photo, for good measure...
Jak-El: Who's the bald dude?
Lois: This is the only photo
I'll probably be in today, isn't it?
Lex: Wait a minute...aren't you Lois Lane?
Dan-El: Hey, that's not really kryptonite.
Dad, kick his ass!



You just gotta feel for the poor guy that has to play Aquaman at Six Flags. We went over to chat with him and take his picture and he said "Don't worry--Batman will be back soon." He must get that a lot.



Dan-El ducks out of a phone booth after a quick change.



These signs were all over the park. I don't get it. But then again, I don't get why anyone would want to eat a Starburst in the first place.



Check out Jak-El's cool new Flash hat.


The Wiggles stage show was the best one we saw in the park, even if the actual Wiggles weren't there. This was probably because the set and costumes were brand new, unlike the rather rundown Looney Tunes show we took in earlier in the day. Not that it was Broadway quality or anything, but boy, can that Dorothy the Dinosaur shake it.


Dan-El and Puppy go for a spin in the Big Red Car. About a half hour after this photo was taken, we went into a panic, when we realized that Puppy had gone missing. We ran frantically around Wiggles World, and then I stopped, realizing we could more easily track when puppy was last seen by looking through the pics on the digital camera. Yes, Puppy was still rockin' the Big Red Car. Bad dog.


There was also a Big Red Plane, as well.

Family Fun

Loaded the kiddos in the station wagon yesterday and headed off to Six Flags New England. Here's the obligatory photo essay.


Our first shop was Thomasland, as Dan-El's current obsession is Thomas the Tank Engine. He was quite thrilled to go for a train ride. It was quite the thrill, let me tell you.




Next, Jak-El went for a ride on Harold the Helicopter. Dan-El didn't meet the height requirements, so he went off with Dad to meet Sir Toppam Hat. If you haven't spent much time around toddlers in the past 10 years, you have no idea what a big deal that is. Note that Jak-El has pretty ladies in the back as passengers. He's such a player.




While the husband waited in line to buy lunch (mmmm....a lukewarm $6.50 slice of pizza!), I walked over to Wiggles World with the kids to meet Wags the Dog (again, if you don't have kids, just play along). Dan-El (age 1 1/2) was really into it, waving to him, shaking his paw and happily posing for pictures. Jak-El (age 4 1/2) got about 4 feet from Wags and ran away screaming. This pattern would repeat itself for the rest of the day with every character we came near, from Bugs Bunny to Batman.



The DC Superheroes area of the park was pretty much a ghost town, thanks to the Superman roller coaster being closed for the day. The park has a new "Legion of Doom" stage show, which a guard dressed in an Arkham Asylum uniform (he looked suspiciously like Matches Malone...) told us was just a "test show" for the park and only playing in June and July. Outside the "Legion" stadium though, you could do meet and greets with villians. We met Lex Luthor and the Cheetah (who had a vaguely British accent, who knew?). The husband alluded to Luthor that he suspected Lex was behind the Superman coaster's breakdown, while both villians seems to take too much of an interest in a little girl's Dorothy the Dinosaur keychain. Personally, I wouldn't have trusted them to hold anything so precious.



Luthor seems a little frighted of Dan-El. I wonder why...

More photos to come tomorrow...

To Sum Up:

Hookah.

Puka.

Pooka.

Jed Clampett.

Known Terrorist.

Random Wednesday Quotes

“I don’t want a Slurpee on an oyster.”

“Everything tickety-boo? Good.”

“It lifts all boats.”

“I’m actually quite fond of lesbians.”

“No! No! Stop it! Ow! You’re hurting me! I’m dying! Oh…we’re done? Can we go to McDonalds now?”

“They’re on your head.”

“I may be mammarily challenged, but I believe in your cause.”

“When I can’t sleep, I count chickens.”

Could someone please make Tiny Titans action figures? And fetch me an iced decaf nonfat latte and a chocolate donut while you're at it? Thank you!

And Now, the News:

Hey, Hey...

Too lazy busy to come up with a proper post today, so amuse yourself with this, found on the Occasional Superheroine blog...



Take the Hey Hey, Which Monkee Are You? Quiz.

R.I.P. Merv Griffin

Just Came Back From the Dentist...

"New teeth. That's weird."—The Doctor

You Want Some Mystic Pizza With That?

(commercial for "Doctor Strange" animated movie DVD comes on television)

Husband: bwaahahahahahahaha!

Lois: What?

Husband: "Sorcerer Supreme?" What the hell is that supposed to mean? It sounds like something you'd order at Arby's.

Lois: Oh, making fun of comics now, are we?

Husband: Oh, nooooo. Actually, it sounds more like something you could get at White Castle. Can I get a King Arthur and a Sorcerer Supreme to go? bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!

**************

Of course, in Paris, you know he'd be a Sorcerer Royale. With cheese.

Let's See Those Squirrels Try to Run Off With This...

A giant, smiling Lego man was fished out of the sea in the Dutch resort of Zandvoort on Tuesday.


Oh, Poop.

Just got some bad news. Not bad, bad, like someone died or they cancelled "Doctor Who" or anything. Just bad in that it bummed me out considerably and there's not much I can do about it.

The last item in Neil Gaiman's blog entry this morning cheered me up a bit though. I wonder if the squirrels in my yard would like some Happy Meal toys.

Arrrragh!

Jak-El now has to wear an eye patch over his left eye for an hour a day to help correct an astigmatism.

Anyone know any good pirate jokes? I think calling him Captain Feathersword is going to get old quick.

Consider Him Armed and Delicious

Sunday morning I went to Shaw's to buy groceries, because that's the exciting kind of crap I do on weekends.

Jak-El and I are standing in the checkout line. I'm putting groceries up on to the checkout counter, when I notice that the boy is muttering to himself and furiously brushing something off of his person.

Lois: Eveyrthing okay, kid?

Jak-El: (mutters, keeps flicking things off his arms)

Lois: What are you doing?

Jak-El: It's the Invisible Chicken! He keeps pecking at me!

Now, as usual, I thought the boy was full of baloney. There's no such thing as an Invisible Chicken.

Then, I looked out my window this morning and saw this:



Here's a close up:



Goddamn Invisible Chicken. He's everywhere.

Guest Blogger Friday!

Aquaman again, with one question. Could Whoopi Goldberg inspire this kind of tribute? I think not!

Lois will be back next week. Have a wet and wild weekend friends! I'm off to give one Ms. Barbara Walters some fishy justice.

Guest Blogger Thursday!

Hello everyone! It's me, your ass kicking friend Aquaman! Lois has kindly let me use this space to let you know where I've been up to for the last few months. For a while, I think I may have been dead. It's hard to tell with all the crisises happening these days.

And as you may or may not know, I've been trying to make a go of it in the business called show. My hard work has finally paid off, and I'm happy to announce that earlier this week, I was named the new co-host of "The View." I'm really--

WHAT? Whoopi? WHOOPI GOLDBERG?!!!??? Oh, for Odin's sake, you've gotta be flippin' kidding me. Whoopi Goldberg? This just doesn't make any sense.

I mean, look at my audition tape. You tell me who you think is better suited to entertain the housewives of America.

There Was No Ham in the Hamburgers, Either

Last night, I made ratatouille for dinner. Jak-El was excited about this, until he learned the process would involve vegetables and not actual rats.

Apparently, he thought I was going to somehow make adorable talking rodents out of the zucchini our neighbor brought over.

Sigh. If only I was that talented.